Loving .... It's a theme that has kept me busy for a long time. What is that actually. How do you do that. Why do you love someone or something or why not? How does that actually feel?
For me, loving was being there for the other for a long time, helping the other where I could, even beyond my own limits. Loving was especially towards the other, seeing how beautiful or special the other is, how much talent the other has, how well they can articulate, or how intuitive they are or artistic, musical, etc..
In the years in which I grew up there were mottos like do normal is crazy enough or don't hang dirty laundry outside the door... That has shaped me, made me smaller than I really am. Love was suppressed because it did not fit the expectation patterns. I told myself that if the other is happy then I am too...
In the end, I learned and, more importantly, allowed myself to love all that I am unconditionally and sincerely. I have reversed the flow of loving and I give everything I always gave to another to myself first. I fill my own system first and from there everything that is over flows to the other. Now I see it this way; if I love myself with all that I am and put myself first then I am happy and balanced.
This has nothing to do with selfishness but everything to do with self-acceptance, self-love, self-esteem.
After all, if I don't value myself, how can I expect someone else to do that? Love has always flowed, will always flow, it is what I Am. Now that I choose to really be what I am, to love myself unconditionally, to take care of myself in every way, I am overflowing. More comes in than I need and that overflowing portion I hand out with love!
Every moment is a moment of Love and its realization is an excellent moment to put yourself at the top of the 'likes' list and / or let someone else on your list flow along in the loving!
What is Love to you? Do you genuinely love yourself or is there a yes but? Do you not accept bits in yourself? Do you dare to look at that, do you really choose for yourself or as I have done for a long time ... only if it suits ???
Take some time and observe how you treat yourself, be honest with yourself, don't make it more beautiful than it is. Look sincerely, it is so enlightening! Do you find it difficult to discover where you stand in self-love? Or to discover how you can make change so that you too can love yourself unconditionally?
I would love to talk to you and help you create clarity in you! Do it for yourself, you are worth it!